Not even Shakira will be able to get Infantino off our backs

Here’s to Thom Gibbs, friends – who writes about sport for The Telegraph and yesterday explained that, despite numerous calls for his resignation or at least for explanations regarding the FIFA scandals, Gianni Infantino remains the favourite to be re-elected as president next year, bolstered in part by votes from national associations in countries where football has only been played for just under a decade. According to the British newspaper, however, a mysterious candidate is said to be preparing to enter the fray to wrest the sceptre of world leader of the world’s most beautiful sport from the bald Italian-Swiss friend of Messi. Who could it be? Gibbs puts forward five names, each more impressive than the last: Luís Figo, who “certainly – absolutely certainly – will not allow himself to be corrupted by power, unlike other refined figures who have in the past secured excessive promotions, such as Infantino himself or Michel Platini”; Arsène Wenger, “who’s really seen it all… apart, of course, from any controversial incidents ever involving his Arsenal players”; Ramón Vega, former defender for Tottenham and the Swiss national team, who is described as “the bloke who turns up at elections dressed as a rubbish bin”; Cristiano Ronaldo, who “certainly possesses the self-confidence required for a role of this magnitude, but might struggle to secure the necessary votes, particularly from the Portuguese Football Federation”; Shakira, who “has attended more World Cups than her ex-husband, Gerard Piqué, and is unlikely to do any worse than the current incumbent”.

This is an ironic way of telling us that we will have to tolerate Infantino’s dictatorship for some time yet, in the hope that when he finally relinquishes power, in a few decades, football will not have been turned into a playground for Asian and American tourists, complete with background music, distracted and well-behaved spectators, absurd rules and far too many matches. (Ah, bloody hell, but that is already the case!).

I too have a name for the FIFA presidency, and he would be the perfect successor to the great Gianni: Pep Guardiola. The former Manchester City manager, who left the team with which he had won everything shortly before the Premier League found them guilty of 114 serious breaches, was in the stands watching Tuesday evening’s Champions League defeat. Once a citizen, always a citizen: Pep wanted to show his support and solidarity with the club that enabled him to triumph at home and abroad thanks to star players bought with money it shouldn’t have had. Guardiola undoubtedly finds himself in an awkward situation. Throughout his career, he has always presented himself not only as a tactical genius and a prophet of attractive football, but also as an idealist and a champion of morality. He has turned many pre-match press conferences into tirades against injustice wherever he saw it: Palestine, Ukraine, Sudan, Catalonia… he had something to say about everyone, the humanitarian Pep, except, of course, for the state of human rights in the United Arab Emirates. Now that City’s Emirati owners have been found guilty of fraud, perhaps at least we will no longer have to listen to Don Guardiola’s lectures on how we should behave in the face of the world’s injustices.