You are, and will always remain, nothing but a bunch of poor cyclists

Damn cycle lanes. In casual conversations in Milan with individuals outside one’s usual circle, complaints about cycle lanes—particularly the one along Corso Buenos Aires—quickly emerge. So you try to explain that in European capitals comparable to Milan, such as Vienna, you hardly see any cars at all; you can only park them underground or in multi-storey car parks; the roads give priority to trams and taxis; and, above all, the cycle lanes are extremely busy. If it’s possible and accepted in Vienna, and the quality of life is so high, why not in Milan? Yet these arguments fall on deaf ears; critics insist that mothers, grandparents and workers are held hostage by the arrogance of cyclists who block traffic and occupy parking spaces—and, in short, the debate is fueled by resentment. So you try to explain that if the 117,000 cycle journeys in May 2025 (the latest figures available for Corso Buenos Aires, though they’ve multiplied since then) were replaced by an equal number of cars, they’d forget all about finding illegal parking spaces and speeding through the traffic lights. It is no use; they are absolutely fed up with Mayor Sala, who will go down in the city’s history as the Attila who destroyed motorists’ peaceful way of life.

Given that your social media algorithm keeps bringing up the ‘Maledette biciclette milanesi’ page – which ironically reports daily on the phobia of bicycles – the page of Verona’s former mayor, Flavio Tosi, suddenly appears amid the chaos of profiles. He is standing in the middle of a street in his city, proclaiming his pledges for the 2027 local elections: ‘We will remove the absurd cycle lanes commissioned by Mayor Tommasi’. His impassioned outcry concerns the ‘extremely dangerous kerbs’ that have created ‘chaos everywhere. They have taken away hundreds of free parking spaces’. In fact, in Italy, if you leave a pushchair or pram in the entrance hall, the block of flats is up in arms – “let them keep them in their own homes” – yet the right to free car parking should be enshrined in the Constitution. And in Cagliari? Citizens are furious about the cycle lanes. Dozens of videos complaining on YouTube. And in Rome? “The Appia Antica has been ruined,” denounces Il Messaggero, lashing out against the new protective kerb for cyclists and pedestrians. Mayor Gualtieri, because of the GRAB (Grande Raccordo Anulare delle Biciclette), is becoming as hated as Sala. “The Regina Viarum, the Appia Antica, has been assassinated by Rome’s City Council! Unbelievable…”, laments the aristocratic owner of a villa on Instagram. Could Trump possibly be left out at this point? Not a chance. It is now clear that the identity-based themes of the global right – God, Country, Family, Remigration, Climate Denialism – include contempt for two-wheeled transport. Trump has said he is disgusted by “idiots on bikes”. He announced the removal of the cycle path on 15th Street Northwest, not far from the White House. And he has withdrawn funding for planned new cycle paths. Last year, he mocked Pete Buttigieg, Biden’s Secretary of Transport, suggesting that his love of bicycles was a sign of homosexuality. After all, when Biden fell off a bicycle four years ago, Trump swore to the American people that he would never, ever get on a bike. It is easy to see why. Weighing in at 108 kilos, he is clearly better suited to limousines and golf buggies.