Welcome back, Serie A – but thank goodness the Premier League is back too

Now that you can stop calling yourselves experts in swimming and athletics – and are already forgetting the names of relay runners and throwers – you’re ready to begin your seasonal ordeal. The football leagues are kicking off again, and that means, unfortunately for you, Serie A is back too. ‘I love this game’, as Ciro Immobile would say, and I’m stocking up on lager to get me through even the Parma v Cagliari and Venezia v Lecce matches I’ll have to watch (out of the corner of my eye, of course) so I can better insult you all in this column.

It’s that time of year for predictions and league tables that will be proven wrong, for pundits confidently asserting that this year’s league title will be won by a team that will then turn out to be rather poor, for managers who, after losing on the opening day, will say they’re still expecting something from the transfer market (I suspect some of them lose on purpose just so they can say that), and for club chairmen who’ll claim the squad is fine as it is and that no one’s being sold, only to offload the best player in the squad half an hour before the transfer window closes. A year of mediocrity awaits you, of ‘just how strong Fàbregas’s Como are’, of 1–0 results mulled over by Allegri, of Spalletti’s pseudo-philosophical rants to justify a 0–0 draw with Udinese, of Milanese psychodramas and Inter wiretaps.

Fortunately, the Premier League is also kicking off, with no fewer than nine clubs having changed managers, and Arsenal seem remarkably capable of defending the title they won last year. Manchester City, Liverpool and Chelsea have new managers; Tottenham have a virtually new one and Manchester United a relatively new one. Among the title contenders, only Aston Villa have a sure thing on the bench in Unai Emery (who, however, will win the Europa League as is tradition). If I were to bet two pounds, I’d put it on the ‘surprise’ package, Manchester United, who might pass on their long-standing status as a club without a top manager to their cousins at City: Guardiola’s former squad have got off to a dreadful start, conceding three goals in the Community Shield against the Gunners, and the talented but unlikable Maresca risks suffering the same fate as Sir Alex Ferguson’s successors at Old Trafford. At 44, Mikel Arteta is the most experienced manager in the English league, and if I were one of those people who go on and on about the ‘new wave’ that’s so fashionable over there, I’d say it’s an important sign of how football needs to rejuvenate itself with fresh, winning ideas.

The truth is that football remains the most wonderful thing in the world, regardless of formations, tactics, age or the managers’ philosophies. It’s the sort of thing that makes even Serie A worth following. But let’s not get carried away.