The national team’s new head coach, according to AI

I asked the AI for a suggestion regarding Italy’s new head coach. It initially replied that it didn’t have the tools to make such a recommendation, only to change its mind and suggest Guardiola as the best fit. My AI (everyone has one; this one is cheap) maintains that Guardiola is the ideal candidate, not only for tactical reasons (my AI must have played football in a previous life) but also for his managerial skills, which are so outstanding that they would enable him to overhaul the entire Italian football system, from the youth teams right up to the senior national side.

Continuing with my questions, I asked the AI whether Guardiola might know what Coverciano was. The answer was yes: Guardiola knows full well what Coverciano is, partly due to his footballing history in Italy, and partly due to his personal knowledge, as the Coverciano training centre is the most famous coaching academy in the world. Without my even asking, my AI went on to speculate on the Spaniard’s approach should he be appointed manager: a veritable technical revolution that would begin right at Coverciano and extend to the national team.

In short, as far as AI is concerned, there’s no doubt about it: with Guardiola, everything will work out – perhaps with a bit of patience, but it will work out. It may be a coincidence, but Malagò, along with Maldini and Leonardo, turned to Guardiola himself to begin the rebuilding process. Did they ask my very own AI for advice? I don’t think so; they went it alone. However, they will certainly have asked themselves the following questions.

Firstly: Is Guardiola suited to coaching one day on, three months off? Secondly: Isn’t €20 million a year (the figure the Spaniard is said to have asked for, although it needs to be put into perspective a little) a bit too much anyway? The third: Does Guardiola know Ulivieri, the head of the technical department? Because if he doesn’t know him, perhaps he isn’t aware that prising him away from Coverciano won’t be a simple task. The fourth: Who’s in charge – us (Maldini and Leonardo) or him (Guardiola)? The fifth: How long are we giving the former City manager to achieve some significant results? The last question is bound to be lost in the wind, as it’s a silly one. No one can know how long it will take to emerge from this quagmire. The rest of the questions could be debated at length. But there’s one sentence that looms larger than all the possible questions, and it was uttered by Paolo Maldini: ‘We’re waiting for the person we really want’. Words that crush Conte’s ego, bounce off Mancini’s white tuft of hair and settle on Andrea Pirlo’s shoulders. Because if Guardiola says no, it will be the former Juventus man who takes the Azzurri’s hot seat. As a second choice? Ask AI; I’m off for a dip in the sea.