She attempts to have her ministry’s name changed, but Urso opposes the move; Freni proves to be the decisive factor (and Barelli is absent). This is how the ‘Tajanata’ came about.

The ‘Tajanata’ is a dance performed in a miniskirt. We bring you the full story of how Tony Tajani’s grand dream came to an end – the Foreign Minister who wanted to add the word ‘trade’ to the title ‘Ministry of Foreign Affairs and International Cooperation’. Forza Italia has tabled a pro-Tony amendment to the PA decree, but who is to decide on behalf of the government – who is to play the role of Paris? It is Federico Freni, the Lega’s undersecretary, whom Tajani did not want at the helm of Consob due to a trivial misunderstanding. Who can help Tajani realise his dream? His father-in-law Paolo Barelli, the undersecretary for Relations with Parliament, but Barelli is not present. What bad luck—what a “Tajanata”!

Let us begin at the start. The minister most loved by Italians who create memes, Tony Tajani—the fashion designer who revived the skirt, feminism and irony—had only one ambition. The world is falling apart, being Foreign Secretary is a disaster (“I’m the unluckiest Foreign Secretary in history”, to quote him), and what does Tony Saint Laurent think? Who is the other minister whom (bad) luck has targeted? It’s Adolfo Urso, who has to deal with Ilva. Tajani reckons that if Urso takes care of Ilva, the Foreign Ministry can handle foreign trade – a matter that already falls within the ministry’s remit. To be precise, Urso’s deputy minister – who is responsible for promoting ‘Made in Italy’ worldwide and for attracting foreign investment – is Valentino Valentini of Forza Italia. Tajani, however, wants ‘trade’ all to himself. If a single word is enough to crucify him, why can’t Tajani add another one to his mega-ministry? Tajani’s staff therefore draft an amendment to the Pa decree. MPs Mauro D’Attis and Piergiorgio Cortelazzo insert a few lines: ‘The name “Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Trade and International Cooperation” shall, for all intents and purposes and wherever it appears, replace the names “Ministry of Foreign Affairs” and “Ministry of International Cooperation”.’ The matter ends up in the Environment Committee, and Urso, who had already caught on, warns FdI and its chairman, Mauro Rotelli – a member of the same party – to keep a close eye on things and prevent the hijacking of the term. Who was sent on behalf of the government to act as rapporteur? That gentleman, Federico Freni, who in the evenings sips good tea whilst listening to opera and reading I sonnambuli by Fruttero & Lucentini. Freni, a figure who had already tolerated Tajani’s obstinacy (Meloni and Salvini had forgotten to inform him that they had chosen Freni to head Consob), thus finds himself the arbiter of this grand design. Tensions rise in the committee, not least because Fratelli d’Italia and Urso have had more than enough of it.

The situation is so complex that Roberto Pella, Tajani’s playmaker, the rapporteur for the measure, the bomb disposal expert, has stepped in to try and fight for his secretary. Can Freni, a man of noble character who has experienced first-hand the offence and the pain of misunderstanding, inflict such pain on Urso? That is not like Freni. Why give Tajani the word ‘trade’ that Meloni wanted to give to Urso? There is a solution. Freni proposes: all that is needed is an opinion from the Committee on Relations with Parliament. Do you remember who the group leader of Forza Italia was? It was that Barelli, the brother-in-law, who—so as not to lose the leadership of the Italian Swimming Federation—preferred to accept the role of Under-Secretary for Relations with Parliament rather than go to Urso. In life, sometimes, everything comes full circle as a form of compensation: the petty injustices suffered, the abuses, the high-handedness, the lack of attention from your superiors, and the kindness that prevents you from standing up to that small, painful slight all come back to you. The moment always arrives, Fra’ Cristoforo – that ‘one day will come’. All you have to do is wait. An opinion from his father-in-law would be enough for Freni, except that Barelli (who still sees himself as the leader of Forza Italia) is not present. They take the back channels. President Rotelli, as we read in the minutes, ‘noting that the rapporteurs are unable to express further favourable opinions on the proposed amendments’, announces that the proposed amendments still to be examined will be rejected. Among these is the Tajanata. A vote would be needed, but the risk is a split with FdI. Another Forza Italia MP gives it a go. It is Alberto Gentile. He asks for the D’Attis 1.40 amendment to be put to the vote. Rotelli objects to Gentile, “as the examination phase of the proposed amendments has concluded”. And so Tony Saint Laurent’s late-summer dream fades away. No trade, not even in words, but merely the elevation of ‘Tajanata’ to the status of a model – the battered catchphrase of the hero who never gives up (like Bruno Vespa, who fell off the treadmill but remains indomitable as presenter of Porta a Porta, Cinque Minuti, and, if need be, even the time signal). The ‘Tajanata’ is like a sneeze and comes on suddenly. The ministry’s acronym is Maeci, but thanks to Tajani it would have become: Maeccì. Cheers to Tajani, the tailor of good humour.