In the wider arena, we are now moving from the "provisional" leader to the "symbolic" one. And it doesn’t end there

And the imaginary leader, isn’t he? It all comes full circle, bringing to mind Vittoria Ronchey’s 1970s bestseller: "Figlioli miei, marxisti immaginari". Yesterday, our colleague Monica Guerzoni scored a coup in the Corriere, when Roberto Speranza – as far as we understand, after consulting with Andrea Orlando and Dario Franceschini – explained to her that the centre-left must not hold leadership primaries. Forget Giuseppe Conte or Elly Schlein. “Let’s put forward a ‘symbolic leader’ – an 18-year-old or a retired partisan.” Schlein, having read the press round-up yesterday morning, apparently got the impression – or rather, the suspicion – that Mr Speranza, along with Franceschini and Orlando, does not want her as leader.

We cannot begin to imagine what mysterious signs she – that is, Elly – might have picked up on. The fact is that nothing can be hidden from this woman. Speranza’s idea, moreover, has its own convincing logic. An 18-year-old has just passed his driving test and could therefore, if necessary, even lead the country. The centenarian partisan, for his part, offers comparable and perhaps even greater assurances, because he has already won once, and no one can accuse him of never winning – which is the most frequent and most painful accusation doing the rounds in those circles. In July, the centre-left had envisaged choosing an ‘interim’ leader; now, in August, comes the ‘symbolic’ leader. We therefore place our trust in the "metaphorical" leader of autumn, the "dreamlike" leader of winter and, finally, as summer approaches, the "deducible" leader. Not in the tax sense, but in the sense that the leader cannot be seen but must be deduced from clues, like the Yeti’s footprints in the snow.

There is a pattern in the evolution of the centre-left’s ideas which, viewed from the outside, is more comforting than alarming. By July, they had arrived at the ‘provisional leader’, as it were. This was already a significant step forward, as it removed the unpleasantness of tenure from the leadership. Today, we have arrived at the ‘symbolic leader’ – almost allegorical – who removes the unpleasantness of the individual from the leadership. Allegory, after all, is the most Italian of the applied arts, and it is not clear why the PD should have left it to the floats of Viareggio and the ceilings of the prefectures. Moreover, the fact that the proposal comes from a man whose surname, Speranza, already features – frescoed in every sacristy across the peninsula – amongst the three theological virtues, is a coincidence not to be underestimated.

Proceeding by successive subtraction, with the methodical calm of someone trimming an artichoke, the centre-left will soon arrive at the final and perfect result: namely, a leadership without a leader, which is perhaps the only form of leadership on which unanimity can be achieved in those quarters. The "non-existent leader", therefore, is the ultimate pure form, liberated from matter and, at the same time, from any residual consequence.

In the meantime, it would be prudent to prepare for the interim proposals, of which there will be many, all equally reasonable. In September, following the rejection of Speranza’s proposal, the age of majority will be lowered to the "unborn leader", presented to the leadership via ultrasound scan. October, on the other hand, will be the month of the ‘posthumous leader’: a great figure who has passed away will be chosen, and a scientific committee will be set up to interpret their views on current affairs (the Unknown Soldier meets all the necessary criteria, and no faction will be able to accuse him of personal ambition).

Finally, it is by no means out of the question that, by Christmas, once the human race has run out, someone might directly put forward a ‘plant leader’ – a centuries-old olive tree in a large pot in Largo del Nazareno – which would have the merit of restoring the coalition’s original name. Provided, of course, that it doesn’t catch Xylella. Of course, the question remains as to how far this method can go. With the leader removed, the only remaining cumbersome and tangible element in the broad coalition would, at this point, be the voters. But preparations are already underway to make them vanish too.