Schlein meets Conte at their usual pub. Bonelli: “The primaries? A load of rubbish.” The ‘Mr Xs’: Manfredi, Salis, Gualtieri

Let’s simplify: Conte rules out Schlein, Schlein rules out Conte, leaving three: Silvia Salis, Gaetano Manfredi and Roberto Gualtieri. The next round of primaries is already upon us. Do you really believe in peace, in this ‘thawing’ lunch yesterday between Conte and Schlein, with the flavour of primaries (once again at Hosteria Costanza), where Conte told Schlein – a saint for her patience – “We must speed things up and hold the primaries soon”, and told reporters: “With the PD, there is debate but mutual respect”? The solution proposed by some refined, left-wing minds is this: Conte as President of the Senate, Schlein as Speaker of the Chamber of Deputies, just like Nilde Iotti. The truth? Nobody believes in the primaries. Bettini is giving an interview as we speak, whilst D’Alema is reportedly working to back Conte… Let’s start with Angelo Bonelli’s certainty: “The primaries are a load of rubbish.” Dessert?

So, is the third name needed? “The third doesn’t exist.” An example of how they get along. The Tortora bill was due to be voted on yesterday, but the M5S says: “We don’t like it. We won’t vote.” The PD, which was initially in favour, chose to abstain so as not to upset the M5S. Today, Giorgetti is speaking. What have the M5S, PD and AVS come up with, to stay united, in the resolution? The word ‘predominantly’. It’s the ‘prevalence of the matchstick’. They’ll certainly stick together – the PD, M5S and AVS guarantee it, without a doubt – but let’s get down to brass tacks. The drama within the PD: ‘Will there be a reference to SAFE in the government’s resolution on the NEC?’ Instead of thinking about their own interests, the PD and the M5S are looking out for Meloni’s, because if Meloni doesn’t include the SAFE today, the PD will whistle and the M5S won’t get angry. How should they respond to Giorgetti when he announces to the Chamber of Deputies and the Senate that the government will activate the NEC – the safeguard clause – which will request a budget deviation from the EU for energy and defence? Here’s the insight. To demonstrate that Conte and Schlein are thick as thieves, this formula has been devised in the think tank of Peppe Provenzano, Francesco Boccia and Conte himself, personally: “NEC resources must be allocated predominantly to energy.” It’s a way of making the word ‘Defence’ disappear. Whenever language is involved – the Devoto-Oli issue – Conte is there (and indeed, in the Chamber of Deputies, he is working on the resolution as a philologist).

Efforts are being made to broker a deal with Italia Viva, so that everyone can stay together. Lella Paita has been trying all day, but to no avail. The PD? Imagine husbands who can’t manage to put up a parasol, being berated by their wives, who keep repeating: ‘You’re a useless fool; the neighbour managed it and you can’t even do that’. The mood is the same. No one must insult Conte because without Conte we won’t win and because, “let’s be clear,” says the secretary’s Sarracino, Marco, “the M5S needs to win votes, and Conte only wins votes if he acts like Conte.” And here, all eyes are on Di Battista. Francesco Filini, Meloni’s ‘Strabone’, Fazzolari’s heir, has been repeating this for months: “Look, Conte has a serious problem with Di Battista. You’ll see, Grillo will back him.” No sooner has he finished saying this than Virginia Raggi, the former mayor of Rome, arrives at the Chamber of Deputies – another figure who is supposed to be putting together the ‘very red coalition’ with Chatwin in the background. Enzo Amendola, who served as a minister under Conte, says: “In politics, one bandit is a bandit and a half”, except that the left-wing electorate – take note – “will eventually grow tired of it. Meloni will ally herself with Vannacci, because she wants to go to the Quirinale and put Fitto in Chigi. The real battle is to prevent Meloni from reaching the Quirinale and Fitto from reaching Chigi”.

All the hallmarks of Chef Franceschini – also known as ‘Dario Litote’ – are present: when he needs to affirm something, he denies it, just like the Sicilians. If he declares, as he did to La Repubblica, ‘there is no Mr X’, what do all the PD MPs think? The opposite. There is a Mr X. And here’s the anecdote. At the latest ‘Repubblica delle Idee’ event, the mayors – Silvia Salis, Manfredi and Gualtieri – were in discussion. The surprise is that Gualtieri is showered with applause, and on social media he’s even the mayor whose tie Sharon Stone adjusts. Franceschini and Renzi’s favouritism has recently been directed towards Gualtieri, and here we return to Rome, to Bettini and D’Alema. Let’s be frank: there’s a whole cohort of old foxes bandying about the word ‘generosity’. In the name of generosity, Schlein should step aside (the thinking being: ‘She’s so young, and if she makes this gesture, her future will be all smooth sailing’), whilst Conte can happily tour Italy shouting that with him, Putin will snap like a breadstick – a phrase that always goes down well with M5S voters. The primaries are due to be held in January, yet another way to further undermine them. Conte takes care of the rest, dragging Draghi and Ukraine into the mix. They say ‘tertium non datur’, yet here we are in the Italy of threes. Conte is seeking his third term as Prime Minister; the three per cent is the budget deficit; we need a third country for migrants; and when Meloni is furious, she says, ‘I remember when we had the three per cent’. We can only hope we don’t end up as Modugno sang: ‘There are only three of us left, three brigands and three donkeys, on the long, long road to Girgenti’.