The most reliable: Crosetto, Piantedosi and Giorgetti

The poll that’s driving the government mad? This one. Guido Crosetto is the most efficient and reliable minister. Who comes second? It depends. In one poll it’s Piantedosi, in another it’s Giorgetti. Certainly, these three are the frontrunners. Since yesterday, a ‘ranking’ has been doing the rounds in the ministers’ chat groups, bringing a smile to some and a touch of melancholy to those at the bottom. It is not known who commissioned it, but the criteria are clear: results, adherence to the PNRR timetable, and handling of dossiers. Crosetto is said to be in first place, Giorgetti second, Tajani third (and here the poll falters, if only because of recent events), and Piantedosi fourth. How much truth is there in this? Let’s turn to the experts – in short, to Antonio Noto, the prince of pollsters, who compiles these rankings periodically. And here the ranking changes. First of all, dear Noto, are these polls doing the rounds actually accurate? “We periodically assess the ministers’ performance.” Would you care to give us the top three? “In the latest report, the ranking is as follows: Crosetto, Piantedosi, Giorgetti, but we must say it hasn’t always been this way.”

Let’s rewind. “At the start of the parliamentary term, Crosetto and Piantedosi were lagging behind; for the past year, they have been the most reliable ministers. This shows that the Ministries of Defence and the Interior are led by two figures whom Italians regard as trustworthy.” We’ve lost sight of Salvini in the lower reaches of the rankings. The Pontida poster has been published, and Salvini’s name isn’t on it. Is it an oversight, or is the Ministry of the Interior on the cards? Piantedosi? He’s taking it in his stride – so much so that he’s found himself a role. A handover with Salvini? Not a chance! The only role he wants is that of national team manager, replacing Andrea Pirlo. Piantedosi as manager, Giorgetti in goal and Crosetto up front in place of Haaland. The national team can start afresh with the fantastic three.