Economy
Key phrases to know •
A social media guide to surviving high petrol prices by racking up likes
Petrol prices at service stations are causing a stir. Fuel is, in fact, a catalyst for public debate, and a practical guide is needed to navigate social media platforms. Here it is
Photo: Ansa
Prices at petrol stations are a hot topic. Fuel is a catalyst for public debate – one of those rare moments when Italians stop acting as the national football team’s manager or virologists and instead become experts in geopolitics, crude oil refining and applied thermodynamics. Here is a guide to navigating social media and accumulating likes.
The convert to sustainable mobility. In theory
"At last, people will start using their cars less and getting about by public transport and on foot!"
Profile: this is firmly stated by someone who has a petrol-powered 3500 SUV, a Smart car and a 300cc scooter in their garage. The last time they took a bus was on a school trip in 2000. They would never walk, because they’d arrive at the office sweating.
The Revealing Prophet
"The future is hydrogen"
Golden rule: post statements like this bluntly, without further comment or scientific explanation. Recommended X. It should be written like a dogma, a revealed truth to be thrown into the debate to make you seem fifty years ahead of your time. If anyone asks for technical details, ignore them or reply with a terse “Look it up”.
The Provocateur (Rage Baiter)
“But do you know how the electricity for your electric cars is generated? With fossil fuels, you fools!”
Objective: to generate debate in the comments section, thereby boosting engagement and attracting the algorithm’s attention. It is the textbook provocation to spark a three-day feud between environmentalists, engineers and those nostalgic for the internal combustion engine. Notifications should be disabled before posting to prevent excessive smartphone activity.
The powers that be and the undefined entity
“In the end, it’s always and only THEM who profit, at the expense of the people”
A fundamental rule applies: never specify who ‘they’ are. The oil companies? The government? The banks? The reptilians? Professor Burioni? The appeal of the sentence lies precisely in its vagueness: everyone can project their own favourite enemy onto it and give it a ‘like’.
The physicist-strategist of fuel
“I only fill up with petrol early in the morning because, in the cold, the liquid contracts and its density means you get an extra 200 millilitres when the tank is full.”
The cunning of the Dunning-Kruger effect: useful for illustrating that typical pseudo-wisdom that requires setting the alarm early, taking three detours and using up two litres of petrol to save a total of 14 cents. Price sensitivity: so-so.
The conspiracy theorist behind the ‘phantom’ excise duty
“We’re still paying for the Abyssinian War and the earthquake!”
Strategy: a great vintage classic that works well on Facebook. Always effective, both online and offline, it unites the right and the left in their anger and avoids the need to go into detail.
I don’t
The joke about the 20 euros:
“But what do you care about the price? I always charge 20 euros anyway!”
Why to avoid it: it reveals dramatic gaps in your Year 4 maths and risks having you mistaken for a low-level troll. Or for a hater commenting on one of Professor Burioni’s posts.
Provide practical solutions:
“Politics must provide concrete solutions, such as dedicated carpool lanes”
Suggesting – perhaps on LinkedIn – that people actually use public transport or carpool effectively shuts down the social media conversation. The feed doesn’t want solutions; it wants to express outrage before getting back in the queue on the ring road.
The LinkedIn guide
"The high fuel price crisis is an extraordinary opportunity to revitalise sustainable mobility and public transport"
No to trite corporate rhetoric: a rhetorical ploy that attempts to turn a real financial blow to households into a pitch about ‘resilience and corporate vision’.