14 March: here is the ‘fantadata’ for the primaries

For the Ides of March, we’re in for a cracking set of primaries. Make a note of this date: 14 March, Saint Matilda of Germany, known for her profound charity (a sort of die-hard unitarian) and wife of Henry the Bird-Catcher (as we read in the Treccani: ‘bird-catcher’ refers to someone who makes a mockery of others. Does that remind you of a leader from the ‘Campo Largo’?) We are providing the date without waiting for the scheduled lunch of Conte, Schlein, Bonelli and Fratoianni (planned for tomorrow) or enduring a largely inconclusive conversation with Igor Taruffi, Taruffenko (no news whatsoever and plenty of nonsense, intended to throw the journalist off track). Conte wants the primaries in December, but within the PD they’re aiming for 14 March. Let’s hear from Delrio: “It’s plausible. It’s a good date.” Comrade Orfini: “There’s also Achille Lauro’s song ‘16 March’, two days later. Do you know it?” We ask Franceschini, Dario the Great: “What if Meloni wants to vote earlier? 14 March? It’s possible.” Luck is on our side. We stop another one, Peppe Provenzano, Milena’s Socrates. “It’s my father’s birthday.” Marco Sarraccino: “As long as it’s a Sunday, it’s fine, and what matters is that there isn’t a big Napoli match.” In the Senate, Patuanelli, Conte’s deputy: “I don’t know if it’ll be in March or when, but we certainly won’t manage to get it done by the end of the year.” Returning to Orfini, he adds, quoting the lyrics of Achille Lauro: “Let me show you the verses: ‘You’re leaving as if I were nothing / As if what? / You’re leaving because there’s nothing left’.” Do you realise how this might end two days later?