The City scandal threatens to prompt a reassessment of Serie A

I never anticipated that, after so many years of a controversial career, this column might be on the brink of collapse. To clarify: the Manchester City case in England is turning into a significant debacle. After threatening to withdraw their investments from the country in the event of excessive punishment for the 114 breaches committed by the team from which Guardiola fled just in time, those ‘good lads’ from Abu Dhabi have reminded half the Premier League clubs that, if they go under, they’ll drag many others down with them.

Tottenham Hotspur, Nottingham Forest, Crystal Palace and Leeds United, amongst others, are reportedly set to officially request that City not be relegated, but merely fined. The reason? Over the years, they are alleged to have staged several sham transfer negotiations with Manchester City, involving inflated or undeclared prices. Such conduct, if proven, could undermine the very essence of ‘That twin the best’ – that is, the narrative of English football’s total superiority – and might even force a reappraisal of Serie A, or at the very least a renewed interest in ‘walking football’, a trip to Iceland to listen to the wind, watch every episode of La Rosa del Calcio on Rai, alternating between the replay of Messi’s farewell party with the national team and reading aloud the statement in which Cristiano Ronaldo dug his own grave by calling his manager an arsehole (who will not call him up for the national team again even if every Portuguese man were to fall ill with Siberian plague).

We live in grim times: there are Piacenza ultras who believe they are fighting a battle for civilisation by chanting “coppa e salame” in the stands after these cured meats were removed from school canteens, there is India bidding to host the 2036 Olympics—an ambition that may evoke nostalgia for the minor inconveniences following a swim in the Seine—and there is Oman advancing from the group stage of the Gulf Cup thanks to a coin toss in a hotel after all the criteria for determining which team was ahead in the standings between them and Iraq were tied.

I am an old romantic; I love a blonde beer sipped in the dim light and English football, despite what Manchester City have done to it. After the excessively long break for the Nations League – where at least the Three Lions performed reasonably well – I am looking forward to the league season as a relief: tomorrow, in an ironic twist of the fixture list, Liverpool take on City. And it goes without saying who I will be supporting.