Tax snobbery: British millionaires who want to pay more tax

I consistently advocate for minorities, hence I defend the rights of wealthy individuals. In fact, the rich are the smallest minority of all that exists in the world today: there are fewer rich people than there are transgender people, fewer than there are Ladins, and fewer than there are transgender Ladins. This is essentially down to Elon Musk, who is not only the richest man in the world but also the first trilionaire in history – in other words, he practically owns all the money in the world and is holding it hostage inside a hangar. There are few rich people, and this is one reason why they are often ignored; I do, however, hope that serious consideration will be given to the appeal made last week by 120 British millionaires to the new British Prime Minister, Andy Burnham, asking him to make them pay more tax. Yes, you heard that right: British millionaires (including former footballers, internationally renowned musicians and best-selling authors) are calling for a new 2 per cent tax on assets worth over ten million pounds. The reason is set out in black and white in the appeal: ‘We can afford it’. What style! How chic! What gentlemen! The 120 signatories were immediately dubbed the ‘Patriotic Millionaires’, but in my view patriotism has nothing to do with it – or at least that’s not the point. The point is that ‘we can afford it’ – as in: we’ve got the money, so let us spend it.

Unlike the Italian saying ‘I pay, I demand!’, these English folk say ‘We pretend to pay’, with nonchalance, a touch of vanity and the barely concealed annoyance of having to ask for it in the first place. Not at all like those wealthy individuals who tremble at the mere mention of the word ‘wealth tax’, or who take up residence in some remote, unappealing location on the world map simply because it is a tax haven; one cannot help but wonder whether these individuals are truly wealthy or not – I mean, if one is genuinely wealthy, one has the funds to pay, so why behave like paupers? Instead, these British millionaires turn up, ask ‘how much is it?’, and, humiliated – and vaguely resentful – at the bill being too low (almost an insult to their spending power), they say: ‘What do you take us for? Give us a proper price; we want to pay more!’ Forget patriotism: this is the good old-fashioned snobbery of those who can (and must) afford it; almost a form of fiscal dandyism, a display of tax-related nonchalance. In fact, today the true status symbol of wealth is no longer the luxury car, the servants pouring fine wines into crystal glasses with gold rims, or the villa with a swimming pool and private helipad; rather, it is the tax return that proves you have so much money that you can even afford to pay tax on it – and you are so rich that you remain so even after paying it. The state should not be so haughty, but should accept a tip from these millionaires who proudly assert their purchasing power. In a world where the rich are few and far between, and for the most part boors and hooligans, it is comforting and gives hope to hear that in England there are still as many as one hundred and twenty who possess not only substantial wealth but also the class required to spend it. Let the Left start afresh with the millionaires!