Meloni’s ‘dark clouds’. Piantedosi: ‘We’re reaching the end’, but the budget is ‘meagre’ and the Chamber is emptying

Open your umbrellas of citizenship. Giorgetti sees “big clouds”; in Taranto, there’s smoke signalling the closure of Ilva; and in the Chamber of Deputies, there are little clouds of yawns. They’ll arrive in October, Piantedosi tells Il Foglio: “the vote will take place at the end of the parliamentary term”, but they’ll arrive half-asleep, with no money in the coffers and with Giorgetti left in a sea of loneliness. The League refuses to budge; the budget deviation is approved (219 votes) and Salvini has Meloni tie the bow on ‘differentiated autonomy’. Giorgetti, who has rescheduled his flight to Bangkok – bound for the International Monetary Fund – finds himself speaking in a deserted Chamber, complaining that he works on Tuesdays whilst the others doze off. Only 12 or 13 MPs are present. Those who can remain under the duvets, while the question remains unanswered: what to do with just 20 billion in resources? Europe ‘puts up’ 14 billion, thanks to the safeguard clause, and 6 billion are resources ‘scraped together’ by Giorgetti. It looks set to be the leanest budget in the history of the Republic. The agenda of the Council of Ministers is updated twice. It’s just a clerical error from Palazzo Chigi, but in the Etruscan-Sanskrit of the Chigi staff – the language of those who live by the motto ‘I’ll give you a hole’ – it translates as: ‘Hey, they’re getting on our nerves.’

The President of the Veneto region, Alberto Stefani, has rushed to Rome for a photo opportunity on autonomy (governments have been saying for twenty years that they have approved autonomy), while Claudio Mancini, the PD’s ‘acatapano’ of the capital – Roberto Gualtieri’s ‘Fazzolori’ – explains to us with great authority: “It’s all clear. The 3.1 per cent is intentional”. What does that mean? “Giorgetti sought it out. He wants a prudent budget. What difference does a decimal point more or less make to the State Accounting Office? On the one hand, Giorgetti is right; on the other, Giorgetti is starving people.”

Pasolini asked “Che cosa sono le nuvole?”, but Giorgetti found “big clouds”. He is stopped by Giuseppe Colombo, La Repubblica’s morning alarm, and, like a meteorologist, the minister announces that “clouds on the horizon threaten a storm, but the vessel has been checked and the course to maintain is that of stability”. Continuing straight ahead, then veering slightly to the right, one encounters Elsa Fornero, the minister to whom Italy has yet to apologize.

Galeazzo Bignami, the leader of FdI, who trembles at every vote, is waving his arms about to rally the troops, because by now ‘we’re on the dance floor. Let’s dance’. For a moment, the Left—which unites and splits, like the old saying about even and odd days—thinks that the government “might even fall”. This is how it works: on the budget deviation, the broad coalition is united, but today (with Meloni speaking ahead of the European Council) that broad coalition has dissolved. Everyone has their own motion, and primaries for all. Peppe Provenzano, Emanuele Macaluso’s protégé, who has adopted his mentor’s stance on tobacco (“I do not smoke out of vice, but only out of virtue”), says that “there’s nothing new here: abroad we go our separate ways, at home we remain united”.

The left-wing resolution on the budget deviation, also signed by Renzi’s Italia Viva, is being criticised by Luigi Marattin, the secretary of the Liberal Democratic Party, who compares it to a text “from Rifondazione Comunista”. And that’s not all. Arnaldo Lomuti of the 5S, a figure close to Giuseppe Conte, tells us that “the M5S grassroots can’t stand Renzi, a man who ought to be disarmed (he says with a laugh), except that Renzi is a devilish character”. Let us hear it, then—what exactly are the devil’s deeds? Lomuti continues: “Renzi enters Parliament, forms a parliamentary group, then expands it and splits us apart, bringing down governments.” And Ukraine? “Well, Ukraine is a decisive issue: there’s no room for quibbling there. It’s either black or white.” This isn’t just a passing remark.

Lorenzo Guerini, perhaps sent to earth by the Creator, issues a statement in the style of a NATO general, à la Cavo Dragone: “On Ukraine, I am patiently patient, but I remain of the opinion that foreign policy – specifically Ukraine – is an issue our alliance can no longer put off. There is no escaping it. Not helping Kyiv is indirectly helping Putin”. Then there is the Renzi supporter who, on the left, is now like the Jew to be hounded, but it is best not to speak of this, just as it is best not to speak of Silvia Salis, the mayor of Genoa, who is waiting for someone to hand her the right shoe (Manolo Blanik) to fit her foot. Even the news is like the clouds: it depends on which cloud you look at. On the right, they are afraid of the figures (voter figures, EU figures, flexibility figures); on the left, they are afraid of losing something they think they have already won.

The most powerful man in Italy, after Claudio Descalzi, Paolo Barelli – Tajani’s father-in-law – assures us that, in the end, on the right, a solution is always found, including the necessary resources, and that “the summit is merely a geometric one. Do you remember the leg and the hypotenuse?”. If the government were an isosceles triangle, the base would be Meloni, but one of the legs would now be Francesco Lollobrigida. He has been stationed in the Chamber of Deputies for at least two weeks: monitoring, overseeing, harmonising. The government has just one problem: they have no money, Tajani is worn out and Salvini needs the limelight. The Bridge has been obscured by clouds (from the Court of Auditors), so what remains is the new Highway Code – the digital driving licence in place of the great pylon. They’re moving at such high speed (in terms of propaganda) that Salvini is presenting the new Highway Code without going through the preliminary council, whilst poor Minister Abodi is stuck at the toll booth, unaware of the regulations affecting sports cars.

Perhaps another twelve months of storm clouds lie ahead, along with a budget that, according to Mancini – Gualtieri’s ‘Fazzolori’ – ‘will amount to just a few billion but be full of crony deals’. Instead of the shoes Achille Lauro used to give away, we could try Giorgetti Poppins’ umbrella. All it takes is a little flexibility and inflation will go down.