To Each Their Albania

The latest in the series is Myrta Merlino, who, following her departure from Mediaset, is moving to San Marino RTV. For those wondering what San Marino RTV is, it is the public broadcaster of the small republic best known for being the birthplace of Dimitri Kunz D’Asburgo, Santanché’s partner. Merlino will therefore be joining the San Marino television broadcaster, which is a partner of Rai; this is neither a scandal nor, by any means, the latest instance of a famous Italian personality seeking a new role elsewhere. One might be in a bit of a crisis, looking to reposition oneself, or seeking something better, or simply feeling a bit restless: switching to Channel 7, 8 or 9, or launching a podcast, or heading straight to another country, whether in the Schengen area or not. Everyone is entitled to their own Albania, television-wise.

The most striking case that springs to mind is in fact that of Agon Channel, the exclave of Tirana, the Ceuta of Italian stars who, at one point, descended upon the Adriatic coast in search of a new El Dorado. It was 2014; Albania had only just shaken off the bitter taste of being a ‘rubber land’, from the time when Albanians themselves were the very source of the emergency (it seems inconceivable today, but nobody paid any attention to the Africans, and they paid no attention to us; we older folk remember them – the Albanian landings of the 1990s, the overloaded ferries, Gianni Amelio’s “Lamerica”, where “Lamerica” was right here). Only later did we see the artist-prankster Prime Minister kneeling before Meloni, and Meloni, in response, wanting to set up a massive rubber dinghy-style centre for him, to cram all the African migrants—who are now longing for Italy—into containers, only for them to end up, as it happens, in Albania (a remarkable contradiction).

But everyone emigrates as best they can; to each their own exclave. And yet, at a certain point, that Agon Channel really did appeal to many – that new channel set up by a Roman energy entrepreneur, a certain Francesco Becchetti, who had invested 40 million euros in the venture, with Italian concepts, Italian journalists – all Italian, yet in the country across the way (like the iPhone, designed in California but manufactured in China).

Recall the enthusiastic reports: “A schedule combining news and entertainment. Sabrina Ferilli will host a talk show, whilst former Inter Milan footballer Marco Materazzi will coach the players competing in the football talent show ‘Leyton Orient’ – based on the London-based team acquired by Becchetti – “whilst the news will be presented by Antonio Caprarica. Simona Ventura will host the channel’s launch at a gala attended by Nicole Kidman.”

One of the first to set off for Tirana was Alessio Vinci, a highly regarded, stateless anchorman – born in Luxembourg, a correspondent for CNN, he then discovered the allure of Italy, where he stayed, much like the nymph Calypso, to present "Matrix" with Mentana; he then moved to "TG5", before fleeing Mediaset and heading to Tirana on a reconnaissance mission, from there he returned to Rome to oversee communications for Alitalia and the in-flight magazine ‘Ulisse’; after that, he vanished into the vast sea of television news, because sometimes the quest for the perfect television country is truly an Odyssey – without any Penelope, but with Alitalia or the Tirana public prosecutor’s office waiting for you instead. Vinci left Agon and was replaced by Antonio Caprarica, but then Caprarica left too, resigning just two weeks after being hired, saying that they were making him work ‘in the containers’.

A few months after broadcasting began, in June 2015, the Albanian public prosecutor’s office issued an arrest warrant for Becchetti, accusing him of money laundering and forgery, and the power was cut off at the ‘container TV’ station (ironic for an energy entrepreneur), whilst the Italians in Albania were repatriated – or rather, remigrated.The charges: matters related to hydroelectric power stations; at that time, no one was discussing ‘renewables’ yet (have you noticed? These days everyone is interested in renewables; as soon as someone has a slightly large car or a nice house, you ask them what they do and they say: ‘renewables’ – renewables are like the kiwi plantations of the 1980s). Anyway, in 2015 Agon closed down for good, then Becchetti was compensated, and he launched ZWEBTV, which aims to be ‘the first web TV channel dedicated to Generation Z and Millennials’ – oh well.

Disclaimer, as the millennials say: who are we to judge? Who hasn’t dreamt of a Plan B – moving to a new country, reinventing themselves, leaving their problems behind, earning loads? Starting a newsletter on Substack, setting up a chain of protein ice-cream parlours, or hopping aboard a Liberian-flagged cargo ship. But there are those who dream and those who take action. And standing out, as bank advisers and TikTok gurus recommend, is the secret. Agon wouldn’t be complete without Pupo, the most international of our showmen, our musical Ulysses, who in Tirana was none other than the ‘head of the Game Show department’, with three original productions including ‘Una canzone per centomila’, which he hosted. The icon of our export stars threw himself into this TV quiz show – a spin-off of ‘Sarabanda’ – but then it all came to an end.

But for the swift-footed Pupo, Albania was nothing more than a tiny flag on the globe of his earthly exploits. His Ithaca lies in the steppe, in the boundless Russian Federation. Where, as we know, he is a true star. “The Italian people should be grateful to the Russians,” he said, referring in part to the ‘From Russia with Love’ operation, which saw medical teams sent from Moscow (in tanks) arrive in Italy during the Covid pandemic. Then he added: “At the very least, I’d apply for Russian citizenship.” However, he ultimately did not submit an application, as is so often the case with these high-paying foreign countries. Another figure much loved in Russia is Al Bano, who is on a par with Pupo: “In my opinion, Putin defended what he had to defend,” he said regarding the war in Ukraine.

Another ambassador in Moscow is Ornella Muti, the unforgettable Roman actress adored across the Federation. In recent weeks, her daughter, Naike Rivelli, has responded to Dagospia, which often mocks her (especially her daughter). D’Agostino’s newspaper reported on Muti’s recent attendance at the International Forum on Consumer Cooperation in Russia, following her participation in Moscow Fashion Week and the World Youth Forum in Sochi in 2024, events which had already drawn criticism in Italy.

So, a back-and-forth between Rivelli’s daughter, who claims the family’s origins (Russian on her mother’s side): “Oh dear, retirement’s waiting for you!” she said to D’Agostino. He responds by calling her a “scatterbrain” and a “crazy woman”, but the die has been cast; it seems the big move has come, with a request this time – yes, for citizenship – though it’s unclear whether it’s for the daughter, the mother, or both. “That’s where our roots lie,” says the daft daughter, in the style of Berlusconi’s speech when he entered politics – perhaps in tights. So poor Putin, who already has his hands full – with the war now at a standstill, the economy in tatters, and drones swooping down on his beach umbrella (the latest one on a beach near his Winter Palace on the Black Sea, the one designed by the legendary Brescian architect Cirillo) – now has to deal with these two as well.

I am still hoping to see Naike and Cirillo’s couple reels, though. But whilst Russia is a breeze, the true Italian export potential is revealed when the going gets tough. Four days ago, on his Instagram, Pupo posted a snippet from one of his columns that began as follows: “Sadir Zhaparov, Kassym Jomart, Shavkat Mirziyoyev, Ilham Aliyev, Emomail Rahmon, Serdar Berdimuhamedou”. This isn’t a tongue-twister but an important geopolitical announcement. “I know, to many of you these names mean nothing, and yet they are, respectively, the presidents of Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Azerbaijan, Tajikistan and Turkmenistan. On Friday 31 July, these gentlemen met in the Issyk-Kul Region of Kyrgyzstan. I had the pleasure and honour of being there and singing for them.”

It is not known whether it was in Issyk-Kul, but in Samarkand, Uzbekistan, Al Bano was already performing as early as 2011. Whilst Vecchioni launched his "Samarcanda" from the comfort of Milan, Carrisi went straight to the location itself, in Samarkand, to perform "Felicità" – which “became something of a national anthem” in Uzbekistan, in the presence of President Karimov, who “joined me on stage and gave me a huge hug, as if we’d known each other all our lives”, the singer recounted. “Then two of his emissaries arrived and dressed me in the traditional Uzbek caftan, which they give to distinguished guests. At the other two concerts I held in different parts of Uzbekistan, the chairman of the local gold mines was present, and he gave me another caftan embroidered with gold and silver.”

But apart from the various styles of caftans, we mustn’t forget, between the Urals and the steppe, the Ricchi e Poveri, Adriano Celentano and Toto Cutugno – other Italian celebrities famous even in the most remote corners of the world. The latter is also famous in Finland, where a local singer, Kari Tapio, recorded a special version, “Olen suomalainen” (“I am Finnish”), of the original “L’italiano”, which was a huge hit. And here we ought to delve into the fascinating question of the semantic shift in these hits. ‘Felicità’ is the national anthem in Kazakhstan, ‘Sono finlandese’ is a symbol of identity in Helsinki, ‘Bella ciao’ has, following the series ‘La casa di carta’, become a global anthem – no longer a locally divisive partisan anthem, but more like Umberto Tozzi’s ‘Gloria’, that hit that Trump plays during attacks on the Capitol and at other events and ceremonies.

Amidst the changes and replacements, after all, in Germany the American David Hasselhoff – the curly-haired star of “Knight Rider” and "Baywatch", is a music icon, and many are convinced that, thanks to a famous New Year’s Eve concert in 1989 where he sang whilst hoisted on a crane at the Brandenburg Gate, he helped bring down the Berlin Wall (a city where, incidentally, there is a museum dedicated to ‘The Hoff’, as the multi-talented artist is nicknamed).

In the global celebrity market, there are no barriers; everyone chooses and is chosen based on taste, passion, sensibility and financial means. Arab countries do not seem particularly fond of our singers, preferring footballers instead. And so Roberto Mancini, the new manager of the national team, suddenly jetted off to Saudi Arabia in August 2023 with a huge contract paid in petrodollars. When he returned to Italy just a year later, however, he admitted his mistake, and even recently, having returned to manage the Azzurri, he made amends: “It was a mistake; it’s like losing the woman of your life. The fans will forgive me.”

Sometimes it works the other way round too: in the ‘Albania of America’ that we are, there are some successful imports: Rula Jebreal is back in the spotlight; Alan Friedman has been a fixture on TV schedules and in the newspapers for years. Heather Parisi is simply Heather Parisi; sometimes imported stars become more famous than they ever were in their home countries, such as Megan Gale, the unforgettable mobile phone advert star, who has recently been brought back into the spotlight. Romina Power is a fascinating case of divided spheres of influence: her ex-husband from Puglia has taken Russia, whilst she, an American, has conquered Italy – a Marshall Plan of sorts in Cellino San Marco, Puglia. And what of Kledi, the unforgettable dancer from Tirana, one of the few Albanians to make the journey on the boats, who later became the face of Maria De Filippi’s Amici? What has become of him?

Meanwhile, the Puglia of the landings – the Puglia where those poor souls used to come ashore – has now become a haven for writers and cultural festivals (yes, because there are also foreign writers who have settled in Italy, the ‘new Romans’ Emmanuel Carrère and Jonathan Safran Foer, and the pioneer of those who have settled within the GRA, Jhumpa Lahiri). Carrère has just been to Puglia, now the ‘America of festivals’, a new El Dorado of cultural events and socialising in masseria and trulli. The Parisian writer is undertaking a never-ending tour from festival to festival, in a region that hosts ‘Il libro possibile’, the ‘Salento Book Festival’, the ‘Puglia Book Festival’ and countless other literary gatherings. Salento, the sea, the sun and the event (even if we’re a bit further north): the epicentre is in Bisceglie, the new Capalbio, even after the well-known events surrounding the Strega Prize.

Will they have containers for the copies sent by the publishers? Having written about murderers, impostors and trials, does Carrère now wish to explore other dark recesses of the human soul? By tackling Italian festivals? Mysteries. But he’s not the only one; Salento has for years been teeming with writers, ladies of society and architects, all extremely sociable, perhaps having migrated from elsewhere via that fascinating revolving door that is the fashion for holiday destinations. The other day, even Helen Mirren—another top-tier international star who has lived in the area for years—popped up on my Instagram. She was photographed at Eliana Miglio’s birthday party, with a large group of Romans. It was Salento, but it could just as easily have been Capalbio. Or even Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan or, of course, Tirana (there were plenty of caftans; and perhaps, if you looked closely, you might even have spotted the architect Cirillo – oh well).