Il Foglio at
Fictional wiretaps between Vannacci and his associates. Putin, women and Cruciani
Go it alone or be received? Be feared or presentable? Futuro Nazionale’s imaginary meeting transforms the contradictions of the new right into a comedy of phone calls, press releases and waiting. A very national party, this one. Confirmation regarding the future is awaited.
17 OCT 26
Translated by AI
Satire: the meeting and telephone calls are entirely fictional. The request made to Crosetto is made-up; the reduction in television appearances is a fear held by the characters, not a confirmed fact.
[9:31 a.m. Fictional meeting. Comments attributed, in this fictional scenario, to Roberto Vannacci, Massimiliano Simoni, Edoardo Ziello, Rossano Sasso, Lorenzo Gasperini and Laura Ravetto.] Futuro Nazionale.
Vannacci: We’re absolutely brilliant. We’re going it alone.
Simoni: Right. I’ll cancel the request for an appointment with Crosetto, then.
Vannacci: Why do you always confuse strategy with the agenda?
Ravetto: Going it alone is a political stance. Being received is a practical necessity.
Sasso: We must make it clear to Meloni and our voters that without us, she could lose.
Ziello: And aren’t our voters at risk of voting directly for Meloni?
[Silence.]
Vannacci: Edoardo, we’re absolutely brilliant.
Ziello: Yes. I just wanted to know where to tick the box.
Simoni: Shall we go to Crosetto’s?
Vannacci: We’re going there to make it clear that we don’t need to go there.
Ravetto: Very well. But first he must see us.
[9:38 a.m. Sound of typing.]
Simoni: I’ll write: ‘Dear Guido, Roberto would like to meet you.’
Vannacci: “Would like to” is too weak. Say: he is open to a discussion.
Ziello: But we’re the ones asking.
Gasperini: A polite request is the best way to make a request.
Simoni: I’ll mention two dates.
Ravetto: Please add the following below: or whenever you prefer.
Sasso: But nobody should think that we’re asking for jobs.
Ziello: Of course. Let’s check that they’re there first.
Vannacci: We demand respect.
Simoni: Respect too, if possible, before the candidate lists are finalised.
[9:45 a.m. Discussion on international affairs.]
Gasperini: The programme proposes reopening channels of communication with Moscow and opposes the continued supply of arms to Ukraine without a diplomatic strategy for peace.
Vannacci: Perfect. We are committed to the national interest.
Ravetto: We’re just trying to make it clear which country we’re talking about.
Vannacci: On Italy. Agreeing with Putin does not mean being dependent on him.
Ziello: Does that apply to Meloni as well?
Vannacci: Let’s not mix domestic and international politics.
Gasperini: We must be close enough to Putin to distinguish ourselves from the government, and far enough away to be able to join it.
Gasperini: A diplomatic phrasing. Let’s not say ‘Putin is right’. Let’s say ‘the West must ask itself some questions’.
Ravetto: So he does one thing and we set homework for the others.
Ziello: So, with Putin, but not too much.
Vannacci: Write: no subservience.
Ravetto: Shall we include that in the message to Crosetto as well?
Vannacci: No. We will be happy to write to Crosetto.
[9:54 a.m. Changing the subject.]
Sasso: On the subject of femicide, let’s start with your definition: “a legal aberration”.
Ravetto: Can we argue against this specific offence without appearing to be against women?
Sasso: We can. But then we’ll have to see if they ask us to explain it. A legal argument doesn’t belong in a headline.
Vannacci: I do not accept that distinctions should be drawn between men and women.
Ravetto: On the offence.
Vannacci: Of course.
Ravetto: I’m asking you this because, in other respects, the programme is quite keen on highlighting differences.
Gasperini: We are also proposing a Ministry for Life, the Natural Family and Identity. Futuro Nazionale.
Ziello: A long name. Will it fit on the number plate?
Ravetto: Women’s lives must encompass everything. We’ll find a solution regarding the number plate.
Sasso: So, to recap: we’ll tone it down on Putin, play it down on relations with Meloni, and ramp it up here?
Vannacci: We need to be recognisable here.
Simoni: Finally, a topic we can discuss at length without having to make an appointment.
[10:03 a.m. Simoni’s phone remains silent.]
Vannacci: What’s the news on the telly?
Simoni: None at the moment. Neither Mediaset nor Rai.
Sasso: They’ve taken us off the screens.
Ravetto: Do we have a list of invitations, a comparison, anything?
Simoni: We’ve got the fact that they didn’t ring this morning.
Ravetto: So let us not turn a quiet morning into a company policy.
Vannacci: What if they stopped calling us altogether? Nothing from Mediaset, and less and less from Rai?
Ziello: That would be a problem.
Vannacci: That would be censorship.
Ziello: It depends. It could well be that they no longer consider us interesting.
[The recording features the sound of a chair scraping.]
Vannacci: We’re not just interesting. We’re absolutely brilliant.
Simoni: But that’s not enough for the programme schedules.
Sasso: Let’s issue a statement against the silence.
Ravetto: And who are we going to get to read it?
Sasso: On television.
[Silence.]
Gasperini: We could put forward a proposal again.
Simoni: New?
Gasperini: Not necessarily.
Simoni: It is precisely that ‘not necessarily’ that might have put them off.
Vannacci: We have our own channels.
Ravetto: Of course. But this meeting is just a discussion amongst people who already agree with us. It’s not an election campaign.
Ziello: At first, every provocation seemed like the start of a push forward. If we stop advancing, all that remains is the provocation.
Ravetto: To negotiate with the centre-right, we need to look presentable. To get people talking about us on talk shows, we need to make someone jump out of their seat. We’re preparing two versions of the same general.
Vannacci: I’m always myself.
Simoni: Right. Let’s see which time slot.
[10:14 a.m. Fictional phone call from Vannacci to Giuseppe Cruciani. On speakerphone.]
Vannacci: Giuseppe, you’re on my side.
Cruciani: I’ll stand up for you.
Vannacci: So you’re with me.
Cruciani: It depends on where you’re going.
Vannacci: We’re going it alone.
Cruciani: Well, I’m going with Meloni.
[Voice in the background, attributed to Ziello: “There you go”.]
Cruciani: At the Festa del Foglio, I said that I hope for an alliance. And that, without an agreement with the centre-right, my vote will go to the centre-right, not to you. Il Foglio.
Vannacci: But you’re saying I’m right.
Cruciani: On certain issues. Not on the fact that the left must win.
Vannacci: I don’t want the left to win.
Cruciani: Perfect. Sort it out with the others who don’t want her to win.
Vannacci: We are the only true right-wing party.
Cruciani: The others on the form count too.
Vannacci: Giuseppe, you support me every day and then you don’t vote for me?
Cruciani: Do not confuse the right to free speech with the right to my cross.
Vannacci: Without us, they could lose.
Cruciani: That is exactly why I’d like you both to be here.
Vannacci: We don’t take orders.
Cruciani: Not even the voters.
[10:21 a.m. End of phone call.]
Sasso: It’s the blackmail of the ‘useful vote’.
Ziello: Calling it blackmail doesn’t make it any less useful.
Gasperini: Cruciani distinguishes between cultural representation and electoral representation.
Simoni: Translated?
Ravetto: Vannacci for the conversation, Meloni for the preservation.
Vannacci: We have a huge number of people supporting us.
Ziello: We need to work out how many people are like Cruciani. They listen to us, they applaud us, they share our posts. Then, out of caution, they vote for someone else.
Sasso: Are you saying that we are a faction within a party to which we do not belong?
Gasperini: An attacking force out wide.
Simoni: ‘If we carry on like this,’ she added, even outside Parliament.
Vannacci: I don’t want to hear this sort of talk. We must force them to negotiate.
Ravetto: So they must fear us. But not so much as to persuade voters to seek refuge from us.
Simoni: Independence requires an impressive number of contacts.
[10:29 a.m. Second fictional phone call to Cruciani.]
Cruciani: You again?
Vannacci: Just to clarify. At least you’re still talking about me, aren’t you?
Cruciani: When there’s something to say.
Vannacci: We’re absolutely brilliant.
Cruciani: You’ve already told me that.
Vannacci: And isn’t that enough?
Cruciani: Roberto, if every time I ring you you say you’ll go on your own, sooner or later I’ll have to ring someone else as well.
Vannacci: I could say that I am considering an alliance.
Cruciani: Well, that’s something at least.
Vannacci: But it would seem that we are giving in.
Cruciani: So say that you’re speaking from a position of strength.
Vannacci: We’re absolutely brilliant.
Cruciani: See? You’re all set.
[10:34 a.m. The final press release is being dictated.]
Vannacci: Futuro Nazionale will not back down one millimetre.
Simoni: Written.
Vannacci: We’ll carry on down our own path.
Ravetto: We do not specify the address.
Vannacci: No compromise on principles.
Ziello: As for working hours, however, maximum flexibility.
Vannacci: We’re not begging for anyone’s attention.
Simoni: Shall we send it to the editorial offices as well?
Vannacci: To everyone. And make sure they’ve received it.
Sasso: In closing: the future is ours.
Ziello: We have not yet heard from Crosetto.
Gasperini: The nation comes first.
Ravetto: We’re all in agreement on the national level. It’s the future that needs to be confirmed.
[A telephone rings. Overlapping voices.]
Vannacci: Silence. It could be them.
Simoni: Who?
Vannacci: Anyone. Reply.
[End of fictional transcript.]
“We’re going on our own. But will Crosetto see us?” The meeting and phone calls are entirely fictional
General Vannacci and his supporters want to be independent, provided that someone seeks them out.