Dear Antonio Tajani

One must acknowledge that Tajani possesses an underrated talent. Whilst explaining the difference between a rash political decision and a sound one, the Foreign Secretary ventured into a field even more complicated than diplomacy: love. He advised a son who asked him which girl to marry to choose the ‘less flashy’ one, the ‘more serious’ one, destined to be a good mother, whilst warning him against the very charming one, who had had several boyfriends and was therefore potentially prone to ‘cheating’. Towards the end, the topic of ‘slightly longer skirts’ came up. The opposition were outraged; Giorgia Meloni described it as ‘a poorly chosen phrase’. However, the incident might be viewed from a different angle. Tajani’s advice could serve as a valuable resource: millions of young men face problems for which no ministry has produced guidelines, and the Foreign Minister could fill that gap. In this vein, his advice column is born.

Dear Antonio, I have met a beautiful woman. I am genuinely fond of her, but she frequently wears miniskirts. Should I be concerned? Dear reader, avoid judging by appearances alone. It is important to get to know the individual, understand her values, and engage in substantive conversation. If, meanwhile, another attractive woman were to come along wearing a slightly longer skirt, I would certainly give it some consideration. Prudence does not equate to prejudice; it signifies foreign policy.

Dear Antonio, my girlfriend had five boyfriends before me. Is that too many? Five isn’t just a number; it’s a context. We need to understand how long the relationships lasted, the reasons for their break-ups, and whether there are any unresolved issues. Before getting married, you need to do some thorough groundwork.

Dear Antonio, you earn more than I do. How should I react? Very well. Italy has always been in favour of growth. The important thing is not to turn an economic difference into a political issue. If he offers to treat you to dinner, accept. We’re liberals.

Dear Antonio, my girlfriend cannot cook. I would not make a big deal of it. We need to see if she has other skills to make up for it. Can she book a restaurant? Can she use an app? Modern family life requires flexibility.

Dear Antonio, she wishes to spend time with her friends without you. This appears entirely reasonable. Maintaining open lines of communication is advisable. A concise, unobtrusive message around midnight—‘Is everything alright?’—can serve as a check-in. A liberal democracy is founded on trust, but even NATO maintains early-warning systems.

Dear Antonio, she says she doesn’t want children. What should I do? There are no metaphors here. If she doesn’t want them and you do, you need to have a serious talk about it. You can’t build a family coalition on a programme in which the two main parties promise opposite things.

Dear Antonio, I believe I have fallen in love. What should I do? Proceed with caution. Take the time to get to know her better.

And what if she’s wearing a miniskirt? My friend, let’s start all over again.